4a)
Forty passengers onboard the Northwest Airlines jet, Flight 428, were evacuated at the LaCrosse Municipal Airport, WI, today, after a landing tower employee spotted smoke near the wheels.
The flight was heading from Minneapolis.
4b)
A 7-year-old boy, missing for three years, was finally found in Brick Township, N.J., Thursday night after a neighbor informed police upon recognizing the child’s picture during a movie.
The boy’s mother, Ellen Lynn Conner, 27, was arrested by police and faces charges of kidnapping and interference with a custody warrant.
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4a) Omit the flight number (it just interrupts the flow of your lead; you can give us details like that in graph 2) and check AP style for Wisconsin. Otherwise, this works fine.
ReplyDelete4b) "informed police upon" sounds awfully formal - I'd loosen it up a bit. But that's just a little nitpick -- this works.
9/10